One Tiny Habit to Take Control of Your Life Back

The pace of life and work has surreptitiously encroached upon the time we used to prioritise for other things....coffee with a colleague, a lunchtime walk in the park, our morning gym session, arriving home on time for dinner etc. Somehow, many of us have lost part of ourselves without realising so, until the cracks start to appear. An unrelenting desire for more energy, a dull ache across our shoulders, tightness in our jaw, disrupted sleep, irritability and the like. How did we get here? 

I invite you to take solace in knowing that life doesn't have to be like this and it certainly doesn't require a complete overhaul to make a change. All it takes is the intention to change and one tiny habit to start the process.

According to Charles Duhigg in his book The Power of Habit, identifying your keystone habit is the actual key to living a successful, meaningful life. 

A keystone habit is a small, foundational habit that triggers a chain reaction of other positive changes/habits in your life. 

While many of us may know what our keystone habit is (for me it's definitely exercise), there are some of us left wondering. If you sit in the latter group, I want you to imagine you at your best. A time when things in your life seemed to be going quite well, you had the type of clarity that made anything seem possible, you reflect back and realise you were often in a flow-like-state and not only felt confident, but self-assured. Life seemed easier, lighter and more aligned with your values. Now think about all of the things you would do in a typical day during that period in your life....what time did you get to bed? What time did you wake up? What did your morning routine look like, how was your workday planned and what did it consist of? How were you connecting with others? What were you doing in terms of looking after your wellbeing (physically, mentally, emotionally)? What were your priorities? 

For example, if I reflect on how exercise was determined to be my keystone habit, I identify all of the other habits and positive behaviours regular exercise contributes to....

When I'm training regularly, my sleep improves not only because I ensure I get to bed earlier to aim for a solid 8 hours of rest, but also because exercise increases slow-wave sleep, which is the most physically restorative stage of rest. 

My training encourages me to eat healthier and take my supplements including protein smoothies after workouts, creatine and fish oil. Ensuring my body has enough protein while I'm training has become an obsession of late (knowing that protein is made of amino acids ~ the building blocks of our muscles, skin, hair, enzymes, and hormones. Adequate levels of protein also supports immune function, hormone production, and even keeps our metabolism humming efficiently.) 

When I'm training I'm more productive! Research tells us that exercise boosts neurotransmitters that help us focus, clears and calms our mind through the reduction of stress hormones (such as cortisol) and improves our problem solving skills through the strengthening of the prefrontal cortex (executive centre of the brain responsible for higher order functions of the brain). Exercise also gives us more energy through spurring the body to produce more mitochondria inside our muscle cells, ultimately increasing our body's energy supply.

Training regularly puts me in a better mood, I'm happier, have more tolerance and more motivated. It encourages me to do more and engage more in life. 

Your keystone habit is that one small shift that quietly influences everything else ~ the habit that creates momentum, the routine that makes every other good choice a little easier. For some, that's making the bed. For others, it's the 5am club, or the time-boxing they do before the week even begins. We're all wired differently, and it's worth remembering: what works for one of us won't necessarily work for all of us.

So ask yourself, when you're at your best, what's the one habit or routine behind it? The one that spurs you on, helps you hold better boundaries, and puts you back in the driver's seat of your own life? Find it. Protect it. Do more of it.

Kirsten is a Performance & Leadership Consultant, Wellbeing Educator and Clinical Psychologist who works with individuals, teams and organisations to help them develop their potential and perform at their best. Get in touch with her today if you're looking for some support, accountability and motivation to become a happier, healthier version of you!